TEN COMMANDMENTS OF COMMUNICATION

THINGS WE ALL SHOULD KNOW

This has been taken from my Hospice Newsletter, submitted by Chaplain John Sheese and tweaked to new meaning by Reverend Josefina (me). In discovering communications classes while attending a Junior College, I realized that the fabric of the Universe, the TWO MYSTERIES, which are DARK ENERGY and DARK MATTER  I actually discovered more about physics than communication. All valuable lessons, learned early and explained much, much later. This is how the Old Soul learns and it correlates in many ways, to life and living itself. Life, like a big juicy onion, has a multitude of layers that grow as the baby seed, makes it Journey from breaking its bulb casing to full size, fully expressed vegetable. When you consider that the common rice plant has more genetic material than we do, you begin to understand the complexity of communication in the natural world. Only human beings have to LEARN communication to be social creatures, by Nurture, not Nature. It is no wonder then, that we all communicate in unique ways by our own design, by Nature, then acquire the ability to speak to others through language and social skills, bound by Nurture.

Without going into the physics of things deeply, I would just say to imagine a square spider's web that covers the entire Universe, perhaps relative to String Theory, lines that attach to all other lines in some way or another where they intersect and "share" information to all other strings. The inner spaces of the web, are Dark Matter, that which is unseen and holding it all together is Dark Energy which allows all things to function. This is where Cosmic Law is Nature. All things, all communication follow principles of physics, the Law of Relativity and so on. These are things ALL Old Souls need to know about, you needn't be a scientist only an observer of the realities as they rule and govern our lives as sure as we breathe. 

Now that you have the Spider's Web as an analogy, I will write about the spaces in the Dark Matter. Imagine again, if you will, your own thought patterns. I believe in five levels of Mind and I will deal with only two of them here; conscious and subconscious. All that we are, our early layers of the onion to present, lies within the subconscious level of mind. This is true for all humans, we all know what a chair is based upon our early years so when we invite someone to "sit down", they will look for that chair or "seat" and won't automatically sit on the floor, desk or wherever. Within our personal web, most everyone else has that information stored as well so "sitting" has a common thread of knowing. In order to get more information from this person, we must ask a question. For instance, let's say that you have just met a stranger, asking their name and making small talk is a natural state of being. First you seek "common" information, introductions and so on, then come the more complex tasks, discovery of the strangers presence. Still, your subconscious is at work as you analyze things from tone of voice to their appearance. Only the subconscious remains in gear, full time. The conscious level begins as interpretation, logic and analytics meet with the strangers reasoning.

Now there is an explosion in the Dark Matter! In order for you and the stranger to understand each other and find a common link is through communication. The stranger is now talking about a big, soft, fluffy chair and you were thinking a rigid, wooden kitchen chair. HUMMMMM, where do you go from here? There is a great deal of back and forth talking and thinking in order to get you both on the same wave length of thinking, this is the process of communication. An "inside joke", is the perfect example of how commonality works in communication, when both people know the "back story", then only a word can trigger laughter, leaving everyone else in the dark. This is why people of "like mind" stick together, or "birds of a feather, flock together". These commonalities of mind, make us feel a certain level of acceptance and can even repulse us from those of a different persuasion. So for now, here are the Ten Commandments of Communication:

I.     In every communication, assume the responsibility for creating a GIVER-RECEIVER rhythm. Do not assume that others even know about such rhythms, as usually, they will not.

II.   Be self revealing. Share your thoughts and feelings throughout the conversation to establish a common ground. The more you know, the more THEY know, the more common the understanding.

III.  Small talk is important in any relationship. Again, find your common ground, those pieces of information that make you both feel at ease.

IV.  Compliments, praise and encouragement can bring your conversations to Life and make a relationship bloom.

V.   Always use non-sexist, non-biased language to maintain a sense of mutuality and equality in your relationships. This may take practice as language skills are acquired.

VI. While listening, slow down your inner thought process and continue to ask questions and seek data. The more you know, the closer the relationship and vice versa.

VII. The more information you have, the less interpretation you have to do. Your subconscious level of mind may be over active, being non-judgemental is critical.

VIII. Understand that the first few statements from another may not and are likely, not accurate reflections of their inner Truth. Make no judgement, be patient.

IX.   While listening, temporarily suspend your own belief system. What you believe to be true, or what in fact may be true, is not the truth of another.

Communication involves a great many Natural and Nurturing aspects of Life. You are a listener, a speaker and ever the Student. Men and women do things differently, NO SURPRISE HERE! However, these simply rules of communication are based on our Human Nature and will apply to all. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to ask or post. I look forward to those! Be at Peace.